Beware, Grouchy, Cranky, and Irritable Woman On Board!
I am writing this blog post hooked up to many different machines in order to be healthy. I have the humidifier hooked to my throat, I have to IV’s one in each arm and I have the oxygenator hooked up. Different noises, different reasons for each device to be hooked up to me. Usually, when I am not in pain my tolerance if being tied up is better than when I am in screeching pain. I woke up yesterday in a good mood, ready for my procedure. When they wheeled me to the OR room, I was joking with the nurses and doctors. Waking up, a different story I woke up in PAIN. I felt like I swallowed twenty porcupines and they were fighting over who was in control. I knew my vocal cords were swollen, even before the doctor told me.
I am miserable. I hate playing charades to communicate what I need. I am happy that I have some nurses who respect my wishes to be independent and who have huge hearts if compassion. I am thankful that I am experiencing men in a different way too. Even though I am experiencing good things, I feel emotional about this whole thing.
I hate not being able to talk, telling someone I need food, water, leave me alone, responding to them. I have to use charades, I have to write it down, I have to verbalize it in a different way. Good thing I am expressive in my face and you can tell when I am in pain, pissed off, or pleased. I am looking forward to the day when my vocal cords are not swollen and I can verbalize again.
I bet you can’t tell by how I am expressing myself today that I am actually feeling better. I am breathing stronger, deeper, and better for that I am grateful.
I am thankful that I am breathing through my mouth and nose again.
I am thankful that the pain medication helps with the pain of swollen vocal cords.
I am thankful that I have had some amazing nurses, both males and friends.
I am thankful that I am able to verbalize my dislikes to those who need to hear it from me. If I am not able to Vickie is able to make it clearer.