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Fluttering Like A Butterfly!

This is my last night in the hospital. I am up in the middle of the night because I had to suction my t-tent and also take some pains meds. My throat is sore. I feel as though I swallowed a porcupine whole. Vickie is asleep on a cot next to me. I doubt she is getting any sleep with the sounds of her sister coughing, the nurses coming, and the beeping nose of the oxygenator going off because it thinks I am not breathing. I can barely tolerate the noises and the inconveniences so I can imagine how she feels about all the drama going on. I am looking forward to going home where I do not have to be tied to the bed with the wires coming out of each body part it seems, I can snuggle with my cat, eat my own food, and be comfortable.

Vickie drove up from Vancouver to spend the night with me to beat the traffic from the Blue Angels flight show which is happening here in Seattle this weekend and so we can spend some quality time together. I have to say that I enjoyed our visit this evening and I believe she is on the same Growth path that I am on. I was talking to her about finding her own self-worth while she was home and so this book popped out at her about it and so she took it as a sign that see needs to work on it. The book is called “I don’t know where I am going, but ain’t lost”. She was reading me some excerpts from it and I love how Jess Lair writes. I will be borrowing her book while she is here as she is going to be reading mine.

I have not been idle while lying around in a hospital bed. I have been reading myself and journaling. I am reading “Shades Of Hope” and the part I am on is figuring out what my families values are saying to me. I found this assignment eye opening concerning my birth family and what she taught me about food, family, men, and me while I grew up until the age of 13 with her. I am now on chapter 7 of Tennie McCarty’s book.

Even though I am hurting, I am also breathing, and that makes my spirit happy. Vickie and I are already planning recipes to cook up together while she is here. We will be home most of the time, since a use of a car is intermediate and I know that some key family members are planning on coming to Vancouver to us. I am looking forward to that. I am also looking forward to learning cooking skills from Vickie. I am happy to see that Vickie’s zest for cooking, a lot like mine is back and this will be a fun adventure. I also plan on taking a ton of photos with my new fangle camera and tri-pod. It is about time we have some decent photos of us together as adults. And Nicholas let Vickie pet him and that made her day too. Please pray for my sister, me, my family as we grow as a family and become stronger. I know that this experience has taught me the value of family, opening up and sharing all manners of my life with others. I love Vickie a ton, I love Rob a ton, I love Kris a ton, I love Carri a ton, I love Joy a ton, and I love my mom a ton. While Vickie is here we will grow stronger as a family and that makes my heart flutter like a butterfly.

Vickie is 14 years older than I. We didn’t play tea part, dress up, or what others sisters played. What we did do that I still cherish is that we made up song lyrics to go with our favorite songs, we cooked together, she taught me how to apply make-up, feather my hair, and we could talk about the hard things about our mother that we couldn’t talk to others about. A few months ago I had to ask people what character traits made me who I am. Vickie chose, loyal, trustworthy, devoted and of course my favorite STUBBORN. Let’s just say that even though I was a bit nervous about Vickie being her, I am glad that she came. I am even more thankful that my other sibling paid for her to be here with me and is showing her that she is loved by them too. I hope that she will go home stronger, better, and able to follow thru on her assignment. I know that Vickie is a strong woman like I am. She just wears it differently than I do. I also do see her loving and nurturing side too. I am thankful I am having this time to experience my sister differently this time and she can experience me too.

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