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Stronger Chapter One

“If you are ready to find real fulfillment, now is the time to start your new journey.” Oprah Winfrey

What does my journey look like now that I got a permanent solution to my subglottic stenosis? Let me be clear about one thing. I am not happy about the solution that I have to live with for the rest of my life, but I will do it because I want to live. I am making a lot of mucus. Instead of the mucus coming out of one spot, it comes out of two places, my nose and the middle of my throat where the t-tube comes out. I am waiting for the swelling to come down around my vocal cords. They are not happy, when I first had the surgery on August 1 they did not put the tube in correctly and it ended up pushing into and against my vocal box which is an unbearable pain that no pain medication can subside. I was taking morphine and it didn’t even cut the pain and I was on edge. I tried not to take out my pain and frustration out on the nurses or my sisters, but I am sure a few cuss words come out of my mouth doing this time period. A few days later I had my second surgery and I only had one night of severe pain and one shot of morphine and I was better. It brought to light to me that when things are meant to be then things fit together with no pain involved and if there is pain involved then it is easily taken care of when it is right and when it isn’t then the pain cannot be subsided.

One of the many lessons I have been learning on my journey.
I have actually enjoyed having my sister Vickie here. Yesterday, she roasted a chicken with potatoes, carrots, and gravy for our Sunday dinner and set the table up nicely. The first time I have set the table up since I moved here to this apartment. Then she cleaned my patio, so that I can enjoy sitting outside. She has been doing the things that I cannot do because of my breathing and my stamina. Another thing we have been doing is a boxing routine so that I can build up my endurance. I am noticing that my endurance level is close to zero and that needs to be built up so that I can do the things that I want to do. Though I do have to figure out a way, if I am to work with others to where I do not spit at them or tell them in time so they can duck from me. And putting a scarf does not work since it sucks the air out of me, so I will have to figure something out eventually.

The first leg of this journey is to get my environment set up for my success. That includes deep cleaning in areas that I or Myron miss because of situations that cannot be helped. Vickie and I are cooking up extra meals in the crockpot and meal preparations and putting them in the freezer for future use. I have decided that once a week I will do the detail work of cooking in bulk and freezing to make my life easier when I am low energy.
I am taking my time in finding where my path will take me, because right now I am not sure. I have been having dreams about helping others, but dreams are just dreams unless I can actually take steps towards those goals.

One Response so far.

  1. Amber Koskela says:

    Just remember that even though one door has been closed, it doesn’t mean that another door won’t open. You are an amazingly strong woman, with a huge heart. I believe that you’ve already started your journey to helping others without even knowing it. Your strength touches people daily. Love you, my friend!

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