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Eating Poison!

I am finally home from a week long stent in the hospital in which I received chemo. How do I describe what getting chemo feels like? All I can tell people is I feel strange. I feel weak. I feel drained. I feel blurry headed. I do not feel like throwing up. Thank God for that. It is an odd feeling. How do you describe having poison pumped through your veins?
Last night I received my infusion at around 5:20 PM and it went into my IV located on my right foot until 11 at night. The first two hours was difficult. The first twenty minutes to hour felt like a huge hot flash of liquid setting my veins on fire along with muscle aches along my jaw and all I could do was breathe through the difficulty. Thank God my sister Carri was there to encourage and help me breathe the whole ordeal. All the things that run through your mind as you fight through the major discomfort become so real in those moments. I still feel as though I have hot lava running in my veins. My veins ache, my body aches, and I have I feel as though someone could knock me over with a feather. I never imagined I would feel this weak in my life. Yet, here I am feeling that way.
Despite those feeling I do have some hope. In two weeks I will get my second dosage of Ritaxmab infusion and then wait for six months and get it done again. This will be happening for two years until I can get my body in balance. Progress is being made even if it does not feel that way at the moment.
Here is what I have noticed since I have done the IV steroid on Friday. One my legs are not swollen. My pants and shirt fit a lot looser than they had in years. I am talking stronger which means that my throat is not as inflamed as when they went in last Wednesday. I can be understood. I can talk. I do not have to feel like some debilitated retard that needs someone to do everything for her. That does not mean I am not in need of help. I have a feeling that I will be asking for some help, especially during moments when I feel like this. Myron will be here tomorrow and I am going to be sending him out to get my prescriptions and grocery shopping for me simple foods that I can just throw in the microwave and grab and lots of stuff to drink. There is something about being in the hospital that makes me feel so dehydrated.
I would be heading to bed now, but I am awaiting Nicholas’ arrival from his vacation with my niece Nichole. I miss my cat. I miss his snuggles and I hope he will have some loving compassion for me and not snub me too bad tonight, because I could use some of his snuggles tonight. I will sign off for now and I will publish this tomorrow for tonight I do not feel up to walking the long hallway to the rec room to gain internet access.

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