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Boundaries

Luke 8: 19-21
“Then Jesus’ mother and his brothers came along toward Him, but they could not get to Him because of the crowd. And it was told to Him, Your mother and your brothers are standing outside desiring to have an interview with You. But He answered them. My mother and my brothers are those who listen to the Word of God and do it.”

I read this in my reading yesterday morning and Jesus’ response to His mother and His brothers at first seemed heartless and cold. Upon reflection Jesus knew His mother. She followed God’s Words when it came to birthing Jesus and Jesus knew that and that is why He said that. Mary knew Jesus was God’s son and was to be the Savior, she didn’t know how far it would go and even where Jesus journey would take Him. She loved her son and she wanted to see Him succeed and be what God wanted Him to be. Was Mary hurt when she got word about what Jesus said? Or did she know in her heart Jesus was meant to sermon to those who didn’t know the Word, didn’t know God? Did Jesus’ brothers know what Mary did?

From these thoughts it directed me towards family relationships. I am one of the few who has a quilted family. What I mean by this is the family I have now is not the one I was born into. When my mother died when I was 13 and I went to live with my much older sister and her family. Let’s just say it did not work out and I had to be transferred to another family. I often felt like an orphaned heart no matter which family group I was in. I didn’t fit in. With my older sister and her family I didn’t do drugs, didn’t drink, didn’t like the drama filled fighting and games that were often played. Then with the adopted family, well I had a big mouth, thought outrageous thoughts, and didn’t understand reasoning of why they did the things or believed the way they did. To me I knew in my heart God was not some big white bearded guy pointing a finger at me and telling me I am worthless and just because I am a woman I had no other job but to be a help mate to a man. I always felt my assignment was more than just being a mom, friend, daughter, sister, and aunt. I still feel that way. Knowing and following through are two different things. No I am not a mother, thankfully. I wouldn’t want to put a child through a torture because of their mom being sick and cranky. No I am not a wife, but I have had two disastrous relationships that I did end up devoting all my time and energy helping them achieve what they needed and forgetting about my own needs.

After hard contemplation I realize that Jesus was putting up a boundary with His family, essentially saying to them this is not the right time for us to talk, I have people who need the Word and God here now and we can talk later. Boundaries and saying what needs to be said is a difficult task when it comes to families. Communicating what is needed and when a boundary is crossed is a huge challenge. We have thoughts well I don’t want to hurt them. I don’t want them to be angry with me. I don’t want to cause family drama. My family is too sensitive. All those things are probably the truth, but in my mind I would be hurting them more if I didn’t at least let them know I have a boundary and you are crossing it. They may not like it and they may think I am a raving lunatic, but this woman has not used her voice and expressed herself in a long time and it will take practice. I am learning boundaries for myself and respecting others. It is a learning curve.

What do you think Jesus meant when He said what He said about His mother and brothers? Do you think He was just being cold hearted towards His mother and brothers?

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