Be Still My Beating Heart!
Wednesday morning I went to the Legacy Good Samaritan to get an Echo Cardiogram done of my heart. I got to see and hear my own heart, what an experience that was.
I woke up with not wanting to get up. I wanted to stay curled up in my bed sleeping with my cat. I forced myself up because I had a 9 AM appointment and Kris was due to pick me up soon. We got there and I was told that they had a longer stress test ahead of me and I won’t be seen until 11 AM. Kris and I walked the sky bridge to the cafeteria and we both ate a good yogurt parfait that we got to make ourselves. I had Greek yogurt with melon mix and peaches. It was yummy.
Finally I was up to get my echo cardiogram done. The experience was similar to getting an ultra sound. I had to lay down on a flat service in an uncomfortable position on my side with my arm at a certain level and the nurse had to finagle a device under my breast and around my breast. Can we just say it was uncomfortable? I chose to focus on the picture that was coming to the screen and the sound of my heart beat. It took about 30 minutes.
Since my last heart monitor fell off I had to wait for the nurse to come in and give me a new contraption. This time it is more complicated. I have leads hooked up to each of my breasts and one right on my belly. Just like I have had them when I am in the ICU at the hospital up in Seattle and not comfortable at all. It comes with a port that I have to hook to my shirt or my pants and then a cell phone looking device that gets feed all the information from the leads and the other device. I have to remember to charge it and change the batteries every night while I am sleeping. I have to change the leads every morning when I wake up. The procedure is complicated and takes a lot more effort than the previous one. Sleeping is a challenge. I took a small nap and I have to contend with having a big bump that I have to be aware of. Thankfully I only have to wear it until January 2nd and then I can mail it back to the company and get my report on January 15th.
I feel like the bionic woman. I watched The Bionic Woman Jamie in the early 80’s and loved the show, but I never fully understood all the medical devices and all the work that needed to be done in order for her to run like a machine. Man, think of all the lube she had to use to keep things moving in her body.
On top of which I am feeling anxious about the results. My birth mom died at age 47 from a tumor in her heart. I remember that she came home with a heart monitor, much bigger and bulker than mine, but my mom never shared or talked about her medical issues. Something that I fight within myself, not sharing what I am feeling or going through and hiding from family and friends my pain and frustration with things and I have chosen not to be like my mom in that manner.
All I have to say is this has been a long journey. Can you believe it is coming up to four years since this whole thing has started in my life? The first symptoms, to my first surgery, to me now living with a trach and a ton of medications and wearing contraptions on my boobs in order to monitor my heart. It is amazing what technology has done for the health of people and it makes me wonder how many are lucky enough to have good insurance in order to use them to fight for themselves. I know I am one lucky lady and I am grateful for being alive and able to still kick.
Then this morning I woke up to my new devices screaming at me. Turns out they needed to be charged. I thought I was charging the PDA device turns out the charger is defective and they are sending me a new one. I woke up feeling grumpy, the right side of my knee hurting, and a headache. I felt like the Grinch and I knew I could hear the choir sing “She’s a mean one”. I took a nap and woke up to Myron cleaning the kitchen and the bathroom. I love having a clean bathroom and kitchen. I am in a much better mood now.