A New Perspective
A comment that one of my longtime friends said has been rattling around in my head. “I regret introducing Monte to you because of the way you and he interacted. He would rip you to shreds and you would take it.”
She is correct with what she said, but by no means should she regret introducing Monte into my life. Here is why. Even though this is difficult for me to admit he in his cruel manner shaped me into the woman I am now. Back in December 2009 when the battle for my life began he was still in my life. He had some pearls of wisdom that came out of his mouth. He said “What are you going to do to change?” Even though he said it as a taunt, as a cruel statement those words helped me to decide to fight for me. Maybe in God’s infinite wisdom He wanted me to hear the question and to make the ultimate choice. Fight for me.
I can see the value in my six year friendship because of one defining moment that altered the course of how I have chosen to handle my illness. Despite the fact that Monte did not like me nor did Monte care about me and all our friendship amounted to was me fulfilling his material and emotional needs I still walked away with a valuable reason to fight for me. Monte was only here for one season of my life in order to show me that I am worth fighting for and that I am capable of putting on the amour and picking up my sword to fight on.
My anger, my sadness, and my bitterness have given way to a new perspective on how to view the abusive and destructive relationship I had with Monte. I am choosing to view it as the life altering challenge I needed for a challenging course I am on now.
I have built healthy relationships with my brother and sister in law, my three sisters, and my friends Summer, Karen, and Amber. I am able to face the challenges I have head on with confidence in God’s willingness to love and support me anyway. There is no need for regret. Because with the roller coaster ride of my relationship with Monte I found me and that was the best gift I have received from him.