I am still dealing with a painful belly wound that is located at my belly button. It is a big gaping hole; the surgical assistant stuck a Q-tip inside of the wound to see how far it can go and to check out how it is doing. Ouch! The white gunk that is coming out is dead fat cells and when wounds heal that is normal protocol. I was scared for nothing. I have learned a lot on this healing journey of mine. One thing that I have learned is I don’t like dealing with big gaping open wounds. It is not only disgusting, but they also hurt, and they leave me feeling like a big pile of Jello. My vents that I had in December of 2011 from my broken thorax didn’t hurt as bad as this belly button wound. I have come to the conclusion it is because the belly button is the center of the body and every part of your body moves your belly. That is why when doing exercises to strengthen your core, meaning your belly areas you use your arms and legs to strengthen the belly. Even breathing moves the belly, and when it moves it hurts. Wow, who knew that such a small intricate part of your body moved so many other parts of the body? How often do I think about breathing, my belly button, or even my chest? A lot now that I am healing. When parts of the body fall a part that is when I often times notice and listen to my body. I have learned to listen to what my body is saying. I believe I am healing. I believe that I will be diving deeper into a more loving and healthy life. How about you?

I am still not supposed to life 20lbs, which is difficult for me to not do. I have to rely on someone else to carry the cat litter box in for me since it is 37lbs and groceries. Thank goodness Nicholas doesn’t weigh 20lbs he only weighs 10 or I would be in big trouble. While I am healing I have started a new book called “The Resilient Woman” by Patricia O’Gorman. I am only in chapter two and I am learning a lot from it. I will share with my community after I am finished reading it. So far, there is one part that absolutely resonated within my soul. “Resilience is about having guts- having courage born of learning from life’s hard lessons and understanding how to take positive actions using this powerful inner source. Resilience is all about stepping into our strength.” These last four years of taking a time out for my healing has taught me about resilience and that I have it. The only reason I am as sane as I am is because I have a great support system of God, my family, friends, and a great medical team. I am so grateful that I am still alive and kicking, even if every now and again I hurt. Even if I have to deal with messy wounds that seep out fat from my belly, or deal with a trach that makes me sound like a mini mouse Dark Vader over the phone. Because on this journey of mine I have learned the value of lovingly taking care of my body, my relationships, and even trusting God. And I have met some truly amazing people who not only inspire me, but help me to cherish and be grateful for every single breathe that I am able to take. I couldn’t ask for anything better than that. How about you?

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