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Spring Is Here

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The obstacles in my life are happening so that something can be born perfectly. What am I birthing? What has this long journey been showing me?

While I have been painfully crawling through the gunk of my life I have been show these things. I am strong. I am loved. I can love back in a healthy way. I can fight for me because I am worthy. I don’t have to give everything away in order to receive love. Team work and relationships are vital for one’s own life and health. I am not alone. I can accomplish things. I have a purpose. I can inspire. I can encourage. I can still smile. I am beautiful the way I am.

I am birthing a new perspective of what I am in Jesus. I am born to be a healer, to encourage, listen to those who I am assigned to help.

I feel good when I help others. Helping them to listen to the voice and intuition in their souls that comes from God brings me joy. And I know that I have a hard time hearing this voice when the mind monsters plaque my mind and I am positive others have that same problem. I am not flawless in my own relationships and believe me I have had some disastrous relationships that have left me feeling battered, but I have better tools to communicate and give voice to that help me see that I have a choice and I don’t have to go and be a mindless creature of habit. Feeling valued and loved is a human thing. We need it. Without it the mind monsters take over. They hover like some kind of spaceship that is looking for a way to kidnap their victims and take all their energy.

I love spring. Spring to me is watching all the plants and animals blossom from a dead substance into something miraculously beautiful. From the ashes of something dead things emerge so powerfully beautiful it makes me feel a deep sense of peace and love in my soul. Spring brings me joy.

Yes, I am still fighting a battle for my life, but with each step I am emerging with my tattered wings becoming colorful and vibrant as my wings expand with the pinks, purples, blues, yellows, reds, and greens of life that I have accumulated on my journey. With these colors I am more capable of accomplishing my hearts map.

Hope is alive. I have faced the beasts of regret, rejection, abandonment, and ill health. My tattered wings are stronger. The end of my 38th year is only a month in a half away and I know that my 39th year will bring me many more blessings, insights, relationships, and opportunities to be of service. And I will soar higher and happier than I am now. I am hopeful.

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