stuff

I have watched Dorothy Breininger on A&E’s Hoarders television show and I have always respected the way she has the ability to connect and help those who are in crisis mode and face their stuff. I was excited to get the opportunity to read her book and I am so glad that I did. I love how she thinks.

Her compassion and knowledge is valuable. I love that in her book she has those same qualities that I admire and love. She demonstrates them with her own confession of how her life took her for a loop and how she dealt with her weight, her home, her falling apart marriage, and all the challenges that happens in life.

One of the key elements that she connects so well and made me truly think about things is hoarding isn’t just about possessions, but it can also be in the way we choose to eat and live our lives. Our homes may be organized and immaculate, but if our body is cluttered with fat and unhealthiness then we are “hoarding”. I love that metaphor. I love that she has opened up my eyes to my own issues. In 2004 after Rick died, he was an extreme hoarder of everything, I cleaned out our 5 bedroom house and then sold it. It never occurred to me that I needed to clean out my own body of the healthy ways I have been living. When you are someone’s 24 hours 7 days a week caregiver, your focus isn’t on yourself, it is on the person you are caring for. My focus was on Rick all the time. Making sure he ate correctly and then getting upset when he had one of his binge eating episodes after fixing him some healthy meals for the entire day. It was a rollercoaster ride that I hope to not repeat again. I also wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy either. It is painful, it is numbing. I was numbed by my experience and even so when I got rid of the things in the home. I ate for my emotions. I ate to numb me so that I could be a good martyr for Rick.  He blamed me for everything. That even resulted in the relationship I had with a close friend who sort of took his place for 5 years. I was to blame and I took it like a good sport. I am thankful that I am out of those unhealthy relationships and I am finally on my path to wholeness and wellness.

I gather insight from reading amazing books such as this one to give me perspective in my own unhealthiness so that I can make better choices for me.

Breiniger’s insights and ideas are doable. They speak of someone who has used them and tweaked them so that they will work. A few I am trying out myself. Like being open about what my faults are and what I am doing about it so that I have an accountability partner. I have also been getting enough sleep. When I had my T-tube I had to suction every couple of hours even in the night while I am supposed to be sleeping and I have not had to do that. I now get on average 8 hours a night. I love it. I feel so much better. I am able to make wiser decisions and I feel like going outside to enjoy the sun.

Thank you Dorothy Breiniger for writing a magnificent book and opening up my eyes to truth and even some helpful tools to help me conquer the beast, bravo.

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