Infusion day has arrived. All day from 9 AM until 4:30 PM I have been in the clinic receiving my Rituximab infusion which helps my auto-immune disease. Even though I am not feeling well I know that this drug helps my inflammation and will allow me to live my life. The only hitch was that my CBC blood test was elevated which means my white blood cells are high and in fighting mode. The CBC or white blood cells elevate and grow in order for our bodies to fight the infection and in my case it was only elevated by 2.5 healthy white blood counts is between 5 and 10. The RN had to call my doctor to get the okay to give me the infusion which took a half hour, they rather be safe than sorry and I do appreciate this even though I was annoyed at the time.
On my journey with my disease I have learned that even though I am not feeling well does not give me license to be a bitch to someone else. I don’t have to act fake, but I can still be kind and tell them why I am feeling grumpy and easily annoyed. I have also learned that even though I hate getting my infusion and taking a few of the pills I take. In order for my body to be in balance and my mood to be in balance I must take them anyway. While listening to my sister talk and while re-evaluating my own circumstances I realize that I need to extend this same attitude and kindness to me when it comes to rebuilding my endurance. I get so frustrated. Because well, it is a lot of work and that work makes me feel awful, but yet, like my chemo infusion I feel awful for a week and then it clears and then I start feeling good. Perhaps, building my endurance will be the same way. These are some of my thoughts as I am waiting for the infusion to be over with and waiting for my ride home.
I am deeply blessed because I had some amazing nurses today. Thank you God that I was only poked 4 times. Thank you that my caregiver went with me for a few hours. Thank you that I was still able to receive my infusion despite the high white cell count. Thank you that my throat is open and has been without needing surgery since October 24th that will make it 8 months. Thank you that I am not having severe side effects like last time and no exploding veins so that I can get to the SOAR training Thursday and Friday. AMEN!