003

Sitting outside on my patio looking at my growing tomato plant, seeing all the fruit that is being produced kind of brought me to the realization that I am like my tomato plant.  When I bought my tomato plant in May it was small, didn’t look healthy at all, but it called to me and so I bought it. Heck I can spend a dollar on a plant right? I have watched my tomato plant grow into a giant tree like bush with 8 green tomatoes still growing and ripening into the red delicious tomatoes that will make me smile and nutritiously fill my belly. I am already planning the meal or meals I will make with them.

I am like the small tomato plant, when I started to self-examined my beliefs, the garbage and the treasures, and the weeds out of my garden and fill my garden with healthy thriving soil and plants I started growing. Any healthy creature human, animal, or plants need healthy soil in order to grow and thrive. Jesus talks about this in Luke 8:4-15.

Even though I have a great many things that are growing and producing amazing fruit. I have one area in my life that is still a major struggle and I keep falling into the same old pattern. My consumption of food is the place in my garden where I am not producing any fruit at all. I am ashamed of the amount of food this lady can shovel into her face. I am what you would call a binge eater. I cannot deny this aspect of myself. I cannot judge addicts of alcohol or drugs because I too have an addiction to food. I use food to numb me so I don’t have to feel my emotions.  I know that I am not alone in this dilemma and that does comfort me somewhat, but I am also deeply frustrated with myself.

I have battled not being able to breathe and finally reached a balance. I have reached this same balance with my illness, why can’t I with food? The main reason is because I have been neglecting this aspect of my life. When I was in survival mode barely breathing, barely living, food was the last thing on my list I wanted to fix. Food and my team of supporters have helped me make it to the place I am at now, now I have to admit that it is time for me to move forward and deal with my binge eating ways. It is time.

Pin It on Pinterest

Share This