Many books on living a healthy life have been finding their way to me. Before “Dr. A’s Habits of Health” was loaned to me by my fabulous neighbor. I found “Food Triggers” by Rhona Epstein on the Netgallery website that I belong to. I truly enjoyed reading Epstein’s book and the fact that she struggles with binge eating and food addiction made this book even dearer to my heart.
I have been struggling with binge eating for a while, since I was a kid. It started with my birth mom and her comments and the way I saw her eat. Though my binges weren’t the typical fair of sugary sweet treats or even chips, because we were poor and couldn’t afford them they weren’t in the house. I used regular food to binge on cheese, meats, anything really. Food was my only friend. I didn’t make friends easily when I was in grade school, in fact, I didn’t have my first friends until I was in middle school where I met my friends Summer C. and Amber S. and then later on in 8th grade Amber H. Reading Epstein’s book I went to the root of issues, which is I eat out of boredom, loneliness, and all my emotions really. Food is my friend/enemy all in one.
I did start the weight loss process back in March/May of 2004 after I watched someone that I loved dearly die from obesity and not taking care of his own healthy. I did not want that. I have watched two people in my life and it is not a pretty death. It isn’t peaceful. It is painful to them and their families. I don’t want that at all. I aimed to change that. I lost one hundred pounds. When I started getting sick back in 2008/2009 and I had my first throat surgery this all changed. I started reverting to what I know. The loneliness, fear, and the unknowns reverberated in my brain and I chose food to calm those things down. I still suffered. I am severely obese and I am aiming to change that aspect of myself. I know it will take time. And I also know that I will have to start using the “old people” exercises until I can do the planks and burpees that those healthier than I am can do. I would love to do a mud run and I know I will, just not right now.
I am starting this process again that I started in 2004. This time I am doing it with a new frame of mind and slowly. Right now I am working on making my environment health oriented instead of sick oriented.