My Training Wheels Are Off
Today’s writing prompt for WEGO is to write about how my health condition forced me to grow up and take my training wheels off. This prompted me to think deeply about these last 4 years of my life fighting my own body with GPA (Wegener’s) and how it has shaped me into the woman I am now. When I started getting sick I started fighting for me, before that I let everyone take advantage of my kindness. I didn’t know what boundaries were and how to take loving care of myself. I knew how to take care of others, but I always put myself last on the list. In fact, I wasn’t even on the list most of the time. No wonder I got sick with an auto-immune disease and why I lost my ability to speak for periods of time.
I am a born encourager and supporter, but I am learning to do that for myself as well as for others. I still find myself struggling at times with saying no I cannot do that or trusting my intuition when it comes to energy draining people whom I met on this safari of mine. I am learning and I am beginning to step out and socialize. I still listen, but I also use my voice.
The training wheels that I shed were not using my voice to speak up for myself and let others take advantage of that fact. I chose to not talk in order to keep friendships that I was truly not meant to keep in my life. Now my journey is to learn when to speak and when not to and discern when the student is ready to hear me and when they are not ready. I am still learning. I am okay with that.