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Death Changes You

uncle rolland

I have been feeling blue ever since Valentine’s Day. I finally figured out the reason why today marks the ten year anniversary of someone very poignant in my life. I am left with a feeling of I need to remember something about this whole lesson this whole world and I also feel like a complete failure. I think I should be further along in my life than I am now.

I needed some comfort, I needed to admit and feel what I am feeling so that I can work through this whole pain. You see, Sunday my uncle passed away unexpectantly leaving his family shocked. I am sad about my uncle, I do love him, but I am also reminded that my Rick passed away on my uncle’s birthday and that uncle’s birthday is today and he just passed. I hope you knew that I loved him, because I didn’t get to see him or talk to him that often. He was a shy and reserved fellow. I have some fond memories of my uncle. When I was a kid he came to visit my mom and me when we lived in Eastern Washington and he brought me some old books that were his and some beautiful rocks that I enjoyed looking at.

I read this evening in my Jesus Calling book because I didn’t get a chance to read it this morning and here is the scripture that popped out at me.

2 Corinthians 5:17

“Therefore if any person is engrafted in Christ the Messiah he is a new creation a new creature altogether; the old previous moral and spiritual condition has passed away. Behold the fresh and new has come!”

I needed to be reminded that though this week is hard for me because of the passing of my Rick and now my uncle I still have come a long way from the 29 year old woman that stood on a threshold of a new journey. Yes, now at 39 I am on a threshold of a new journey. I finished my book and even sent it out to a few people who were interested in reading my book.  I am fresh and new. I also realized that I want those who are in my life my family to know how valuable they are and that I love them intensely. I want my friends to know that I appreciate their support and love and the joyous times. I want everyone who I choose to be in my life to know that they were loved and appreciated by me at all times. I don’t want to die without everyone knowing their importance in my life.

For now, my goals are simple, getting my health back in balance, have amazing people in my life, get my book published, get the beta readers thought and revamp my book, start creating my cards, and most importantly continue to follow the path God has laid before me.

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