Psalms 42:5-6

Why are you cast down, o my inner self? And why should you moan over me and be disquieted within me? Hope in God and wait expectantly for Him, for I shall yet praise Him my Help and my God. O my God, my life is cast down upon me and I find the burden more than I can bear; therefore I will earnestly remember You from the land of the Jordan river and the summits of Mount Hermon from the little mountain Mizar.

 

 

I know that I have days when my hope for life is low. I feel exhausted, I hurt, and I can’t breathe and then I get hit with an emotional wrecking ball that plaques my mind and I lose my hope and trust in God. It happens, with every single war that rages when it concerns my illness I have to continually renew my mind and remind myself that God has it covered and I can keep on walking even if at the moment I have to crawl and sound like a moose.

My inner self struggles a lot, but I do know that if I wallow in the pits of pain, denial, or even pity for myself then I would not even crawl out of bed, in fact, I would crawl under the bed to hide and weep. Fear has a stronghold and then I do not accomplish what I am assigned to do at the moment.

It is amazing how powerful the word HOPE is. Think about it. With hope you can conquer moments, with hope you believe and you crawl, slide, or even stumble across the muddy mire of gunk to see the hope that awaits you on the other side. God talks about words and how powerful they are. How you speak to yourself can bring it about and even cause you to go into anxious emotions that will detour you from the assignment of the day.

Believe me I am not perfect and man I can ripe myself up in my brain all the time. I don’t speak kindly of myself. As I am walking towards my goals I realize I can paint a big picture and go towards the big dream, but I am okay if I only accomplish the small ones. The things that allow me to keep taking the small steps that are necessary. An example is my big dream of riding the bike marathon from Seattle Washington all the way to Portland Oregon in the summer of 2015. How am I to accomplish this feat? By taking one small step at a time and guess what moving slow is a huge stretch for me. I am the type of person that moves fast and when I want something done I want it done now no lollygagging around. Last Saturday when I went skating at Golden Skate Doug amazing coaches kept reminding me of two things breathe and move slowly. I kept repeating the move slow motto in my head while I was making it around the ring twice that day.

Though today I am tired, not the normal kind of tired, but the kind that will take me days to recuperate from. I am still thankful that I stepped out on skates and went around the ring. That simple activity gave me a bit of hope, just like getting on my neighbor and friend Lisa’s bike gave me that same joy that I once experienced and thought I would never get to do again.

What simple activity brings you joy?

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