It is hard to believe it is the second week in February and I feel like I have accomplished a lot this month. First, I roller skated, then I went and played out in the snow, and then this weekend I walked to the store which is probably about a block from my apartments. Yes, I had to use my wheelchair, mainly for me to sit down and rest my back. I realized while skating and walking around that my back muscles have not been used in quite a while so my back hurts when I exert myself. I will still continue on my path to moving my body more often than I am used to.
Last night my new caregiver started. I am excited. She and I went grocery shopping since I was in need of some food. I liked how she was not negative or demanding about what I should buy, she let me pick out what I wanted and just stood by ready when I needed her. I liked that a lot. I bought a lot of healthy food. I find a salad dressing that did not have any wheat. It was a Greek yogurt based one that is called OM. It is so good. I had some last night. I have been craving salad so I bought salad makings and even some fresh green beans and of course some blueberries.
I am struggling with my last chapter of my book that I am writing “Beyond The Trach”. The title of my last chapter is called “A New Path”. I know in my heart this chapter needs to be written. I also am digging my heels into the ground saying to myself “Am I ready to change the course?” I believe I am ready, just that the monster mind is having a hay day in elevating my fears. I fear that what if this path that I am traveling is a mistake? What if I will hit a road block and then have to move around it, through it, or over it? Do I have enough strength, endurance, and motivation to keep moving forward? I want to say yes, because I know that life is full of obstacles no matter what path you choose. Sometimes we do make a choice that is more painful than the other choice was, but does it mean I am a failure or that I made a mistake? I know, I have a lot of thoughts that run through my mind. All I know is since I have been on this healing journey of mine and through all the medical obstacles and challenges my faith in God has never wavered and neither has my tenacity to keep moving on.
I hope you have an enjoyable week. My weekly goals this week include:
Making a couple of healthy salads new salad dressing
Sitting down and writing my last chapter of my book