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Changing Focus

I’m sitting on my bed while I am writing this. It’s been a long and insightful day. Remission has happened. Yes, I Jamie Holloway, lover of butterflies, who reads and writes for this blog is in remission. I have not fully comprehended what remission means. I’m not cured. I still have the diseases of Rheumatoid Arthritis and Wegeners. Remission means that my two diseases are controlled now. Dr. Gardner said to me “your diseases are controlled now, so you can start focusing on yourself”. That means I no longer will give 100 percent of my time and energy to RA or GPA. I am free to focus on other areas that have fallen by the wayside since I started exhibiting symptoms back in 2007. Now I am free do give my focused attention that required determination and stubbornness to another aspect of my life.

For a long time, I’ve had a huge weight issue. Let’s face it, 330 pounds is not just a little weight issue. It is a giant one. It has bothered me. But since I have and still am taking prednisone. This medication has caused me to fluctuate in my weight. I haven’t felt like I could dedication more than 5 percent of my energy and focus on this big issue. Breathing and getting my body into remission had to take precedent. That can change now. This stubborn and determined woman will be making some changes in this next leg of her journey. I have four main areas now that I want to focus my attention on.

Nutrition: I can give 25 percent of my focus on making better choices in what I eat and how much of it I am eating. I have bought a new set of stainless steel measuring cups and spoons to help me learn what a serving size actually is. And the biggest thing is changing the habit of turning to food when I am emotional or bored. It is boring healing. All I could do is sit there and wait and wait and wait. It was aggravating. So I turned to eating most of the time. I did other things, but eating became my main thing. That will be changing as I focus on this new leg of my journey.

Movement: Yes, I will still have my breathing issues that presents an obstacle. Will I let that stop me? NO. I won’t. Yesterday when I saw my doctor. I asked him to fax to TouchMark a place that does aquatic therapy in Vancouver where I live. I’ve been wanting to go, but my trach stopped me. So did a lot of other things, such as miss communication between my primary and them. I changed that by going directly to my Rheumy doctor instead. I hope to get into the pool and exercising again. Another opportunity came up too. One of my neighbors and friends who happens to be the blood drawer at one of the hospitals I go to will be starting up a yoga class in my apartment’s gym. I told her that I would need it to start at the basic level. She said we can start with just practicing breathing. I like that. I know that will be good for me.  I know I can give 25 percent of my time to moving my body so that I can rock at life.

Relationship/Love: During this journey with my illness. I learned that relationships are so valuable. I want, no I need to work on developing the ones I have and opening myself up to making new relationships. I’m not exactly sure how I am going to do this. But I know that it will happen when it is meant to.

Writing: I’ve been saying I want to write my book. I have, really I have, but it wasn’t exactly what I wanted to say. I just wrote it just have something written. I think it could be more. I believe it is time to rewrite, rethink, and dedicate 25 percent of my time to writing my book. I recently wrote an essay for the Impossible Project that I hope will be published in the book in 2016. I focused my writing on being proactive.

Here I go, on another leg of my journey to wellness. This time focusing on other things than just my illnesses. I know the 4 things I have chosen to give my time to will benefit my remission. Part of my remission will still be taking medications and getting my infusion every six month. The best part, is the inflammation is for right now. Gone from my body. Thank you Jesus. I knew you would guide me to where I need to be in my life.

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