Before going into the hospital I was offered a chance to read “The Wait” by Devon Franklin and Meagan Good. I have never heard of Franklin or Good, but I have seen some of the movies that Good has been in. I had some preconceived notions when I picked up this book to read. I thought it was going to be like every other dating book, picking the guy or girl up and attracting them to you. I am happy to be wrong. If you want a book that tells you how to be more attractive to a man or woman and picking them up just so you can have someone this is not the book for you. This book is deeper than that, much deeper. This book is about establishing a healthy, committed, loyal, and full of God relationship with someone for the long term, not short term.
Before I begin on my journey through “The Wait” I am going to state that Franklin and Good promote celibacy until you are married. Like I stated above this is not the same books that we all have read about relationships and how to get the guy or girl. In fact, in some respects this mirrors what I have been doing the last 6 years. While I have been battling my illness, I lost a relationship, and that prompted me to dedicate my time and energy into healing than to find another destructive relationship. Now, that healing is coming along I am slowly opening up to the possibility of allowing another person into my world. This book has given me a lot of wise insight into how I should proceed with opening up to dating again. By building healthy habits in my own life and waiting for the right person to come into my life. Then a plan to help me cultivate a healthy relationship with them.
Here are five things that I learned from reading “The Wait”:
- You have to take time to heal. Most of us don’t take the time to heal. We think it is too tedious, we get lonely, or we want to deny that we need healing. If we bury our pain, it does resurface again in the next relationship. By taking a step back and focusing on healing before jumping into another relationship we allow God to work in us.
- Waiting takes courage. There are principles to waiting according to Franklin: Here are his principles.
*Quiet the mind
* listen to your inner voice
* Let go of trying to make things happen
* Doing other things to distract from the need to have results. I know from my own personal life I will have to work on these skills while I wait.
3) Having discipline in your life is actually a gift while you are waiting for answers from God. Here are some disciplines for women that I found I want to incorporate into my life.
* Meditating: making time to have self-reflection
* talking with a pastor or spiritual mentor
* making peace with the people from your past
Franklin and Good have a bunch of great tips on discipline for both men and women. Fitness and eating well is one of their main ones. I know for me finding a pastor, church, and spiritual mentor will be one of my goals for 2016.
4) You have to have a jury mentality while getting to know someone. Jury mentality is: observing, learning, not judging, maintaining a healthy level of detachment. This is a healthy way of getting to know someone and not get caught up in all the drama of life. I do this exact thing when it comes to other people in my life. I do this for friends and family when I meet one of their dates or significant other, but for myself I never have. That is one pattern I will be diving deeply into while I am waiting.
5) When I do find someone that I want to commit and go towards marriage check out the prepare-enrich.com and make our marriage strong from the beginning.