For 2017 I chose 2 focus words: Identity and Enjoy. God then sent me several books to my door that pertained to identity and enjoyment. I knew that I made the right choice for my year. Lysa Terkeurst’s “Uninvited was one of these books. From my past, living with a verbal and physical abusive mother, an absentee father who left me when I was 6 months old. Then having my mother pass away and then move into a strange family that sat and enjoyed meals together, who hugged each other, were kind to each other, and the strangest of all a loving living father who stayed in the picture and disciplined and loved all his children, including me. Yet, I still felt shame, rejection, not valued, unloved and abandoned. I’m better than I was when I was a young teenager, but I still have twinges of those negative thoughts that show up.
This year is my time to face this beast head on, and to allow healing to happen. That is what 2017 holds for me.
Here is what I learned from Terkeurst book:
- That I have a lot of deep rooted emotions concerning my identity. Not just because now I live with a trach and my disability, but because of my past traumas.
- The only way I am going to heal is by giving it all to Jesus. Let him put the healing balm on my heart and mind.
- I am not the only one who has deep insecurities. I now have tools to help me work through them.
- I am loved, by God and those who are my support team.
Here are some links: