Musings

August 2023 has come upon me quickly. It has been one year since I got this massive wound on my right front lower leg that I have been wrestling with this year.
This year has been hell for me a lot of hospital visits, pain procedures, leg infections, sepsis, and I looked death in the eye this year. Since March when I got sepsis, I have been healing better. No overnight hospital visits and I stopped going to wound clinic. My wound is healing. It is no longer deep. It is growing new skin and working on closing up, so the pain I am feeling is nerve pain. The nerves are really close to the skin. Right now I have a new bandage procedure that is just as pain as the bleach and peroxide I was on for a few months. However, this procedure promote healing unlike the peroxide and bleach one.
Here are some blessings that I am experiencing right now. That is what I am focusing on instead of the pain that drops me to my knees. I am able to now cook in my kitchen on my own. Anyone who knows me knows that I love cooking and watching cooking shows and trying new foods and recipes. I am able to do this now. Yeah! I reorganized my kitchen. When my big sister came for the few months and helped me organize and set up my place for me. She set up the kitchen for her comfort not mine. She was cooking and stuff, so that makes sense. So when she left I had to move things around for mine. My sister is 5 feet 11 inches tall and I am in a wheelchair so getting things off the high shelves are a challenge for me. Next to the stove I set up a pantry that I can reach and grab things as I cook. My microwave is there and so is my food processor and instant pot. All things I use a lot. I moved my spices onto a shelf there and my oils too. I moved canned goods that I use like tuna fish, beans, pasta, broths, and other canned goods and things that do not need to be refrigerated. I took it slow and I worked on one thing at a time. It took e a week to get it set up for me. I still use the other cupboard for my extras and for things I do not use often. Like my sisters coffee. I don’t drink coffee and my teas too. I love tea, but I don’t drink it often. I have been thinking about making sun tea but I have not done it yet. It feels good to get it done and to actually do things for myself. My next goal is to get shoes and go to the grocery store myself again in my wheelchair. I need diabetic shoes for my ulcer on my right foot. I have a prescription. It is a challenge to find someone to fill it.
During my journey through this medical challenge I have learned several things. That things don’t move fast and patience is a must. I have lost it a few times. Because some of the nurses and doctors are a bit hard to talk to or understand. They do not understand me. That is why it took so long to get the biopsy that saved me from dying. I ended up having strep in my leg and that is what caused my wound. Strange to me, because I have heard of strep throat but not on the skin. So everyone keep your skin clean, dry, and moisturized and look over it often for unusual things.
Another thing I learned is I lost a ton of weight. I have no idea how or when it happened, but it did happen. I have pants that fall off me when I stand up and shirts that are more like dresses on me than shirts. It feels strange to me. Today I put on a shirt that was super tight on me and now fits me well.
When I got home from the hospital it was a challenge for me to eat, especially roasted meats. People cook their meat until it is leather. I can’t eat it or swallow it. So for the last few months I rely on protein drinks and canned meat like chicken and fish so that I get the nutrition I need for healing. Healing takes protein, zinc, vitamin d, calcium, vitamin c. Then I had to get chew able potassium and magnesium because the pills are so huge that I could not swallow them, even when cut in half. Thankfully they make chew able vitamins and pills for those like me. Recently, I was craving a uncured beef hot dog. I got one, on a bun with dill relish and mustard. Yum! I was able to chew and swallow it. I discovered that I now can swallow roasted meat again. I just have to cook it to the 160 that meat should be cooked at and it is moist. I had a whole chicken in my freezer so I cut it in half and split the legs off and wings, breasts and thighs and baked it in my oven with olive oil and Italian seasonings mix that I had. Yummy! It was delicious. I am saving the bones for broth to make in my crock-pot.
I am now doing PT and OT. I have leg and arms exercises. They are geriatric exercises. I am trying to accept that is all I am able to do at this moment until I am stronger. I’m getting there. I am healing and getting stronger. It is not easy and I have my emotional moments.
I’m getting my mojo for reading, cooking, and writing back and I am aiming to do more as my life proceeds forward.
My emotion is mainly about doing geriatric exercises. My logical brain gets why I have to do them. Because at 49 years old, my body moves like a 90 year old. My brain is active and healthy. I also know that I can get stronger and move forward to none geriatric movements and that this is only temporary as I proceed with my healing.
I am proceeding forward with my healing. I am choosing life. I am choosing eating well and keep losing weight until I can get skin removal and move better because of the dead skin on my body. This is what has been going on. I promise to keep everyone updated as I move forward and towards my goals. Let’s encourage each other and remind everyone to drink water and to breathe. Both are vital for our lives. With Love, Jamie