I Have a Voice

The voice, a powerful instrument that is used to get your thoughts, your emotions, your opinions, and most important to express who you are to everyone. What happens when you lose the capability to talk? What happens when your voice becomes weak and not able to function properly? These are the thoughts that I have been sitting with for the last couple of weeks. I have some serious thoughts that I would like to share. Here is what qualifies me to be able to talk about this: right now my ability to talk is hindered. My voicebox (Larnyx) is not opening and closing properly and I cannot verbalize. This scares me. I am angry. I am angry at myself. I am angry with my own body. How am I supposed to be heard above all the noise in this world? 

Then God started speaking to my heart. He smacked me in the head and said lady , maybe you need to just listen. Maybe instead of using your voice all the time verbally, maybe use your voice to listen. Spirit is correct. I noticed something after this reflection. Everyone and I mean every single person including myself has ingrained into their soul that they need to be heard, that their opinions need to be heard, that no one has stopped to truly listen. No one wants to listen to the other side, if someone does not agree with them, they don’t want to be associated with them and think they are evil or a bad person because they view the world differently.  I have chosen to stay out of political talk because my skin crawls and because neither side is correct and no one is getting to the root. Why are people afraid? What is the real root of the issues? Why the destruction of families and people in this land? I am choosing to listen before I make an assumption, because I don’t know why things are failing and I don’t have the answer on how to fix it. Frankly, I am starting to think, no one has the answer. Maybe there is no fix, because we are so full of anger and fear that there is no return from it. I tremble when I think about all the pain in the world just because of fear and anger. My heart prays for those who are angry and afraid. 

I have fear, a deep fear that sits in the pit of my stomach. My fear, losing my voice and not being able to communicate the love that I feel. I want to stop the world, hold down a pause button, have them not be able to verbalize and look each other in the eye instead of on-line and see that we shouldn’t be afraid of each other. That we all bleed, are soft to the touch, have smiles, worries, fears, and problems just like each other, maybe we can then focus on that instead of beating each other up. I know this is a pipe dream. This is why I choose to remember the Fruits of the Spirit every year, so that I remember how to treat others and myself. Maybe, my voice is not only listening, but also writing my thoughts and opinions down and letting people be who they are no matter what their thoughts and opinions are. I remember I have a voice even if my larynx is not working.